1. Christmas with Cthulhu
Ascending from R’lyeh onto land for his prey, Cthulhu slayed a boy not yet grown.
Then tickling his tentacles, like pulsating ventricles, the Great Old One’s mouth snatched a bone.
With many a strain, he shaped it into a cane, chiseling it just like a stone.
And from splatters of blood on a pallet of wood, he gave it red stripes and set it to dry,
Then returned to the sea, eyes glowing with glee, fondling candy of death on his throne.
2. It’s a Wonderful Knife
Like ice skates licking a frozen lake with razor tongues, the knife glided smoothly across the coagulated tears clinging stubbornly to the surface of her eye. The azure atmosphere of death glistened on her skin like morning dew in hell, illuminated by the light reflected off the blade dancing on her pupils. Her eyelids remained stiffly rolled up, commanded by muscles hardened like concrete from the tyrannical terror of her final moments. And as the tip of the knife penetrated her cornea, her breath climbed out of her soul like smoke, riding a whimper.
3. Nuclear Winter
Mucus slithered out from behind scraps of tattered skin that hung like rags from the remnants of his disintegrating arm. His protruding bone crumbled more each day, climbing the stump attached to his shoulder like the ashy appendage of a burning cigarette. Long since decayed, his nerves were oblivious to the frostbite claiming his nose and lips as snow mounted ever higher around his gaunt body, trapped by the dead weight of his atrophied legs. Frozen in place, he waited for the end.
4. Have a Creepy-Crawly Christmas
The steam on the interior of the glass stocking he awoke in made it hard for him to see out, and his brain withered as oxygen waned. But he could discern the movement of a vague lump of red and white coming toward him – a man. Suddenly, a window above his head was lifted, and air pounded his face as he looked up. The desperate suction from his lungs puffed his chest up against the encasement. But before he could steal a gulp of air, Santa filled his throat with centipedes.
5. Oh Killing Spree, Oh Killing Spree
6. The Naughty List
Which naughty people (letters) get which punishments (numbers)? Match them up! I’ll start with 3g.
7. Satan’s Workshop
With their jaws dislocated by the rubber balls gagging them, the “toys” on the table lay in syrupy puddles of drool and blood as the toymaker’s shadow crawled up onto their bodies with his slow, backlit approach. Laying his prickly hand on the forehead of the brunette at the end, he sunk the brittle, yellowing talons of his other hand into her scalp and began rotating his wrist to spin a spool of her hair. Then, after gnawing a hole in her abdomen and filling it with maggots, he used her hair as thread to sloppily stich the hole shut.
8. Shiver Me Timbers
In his peripheral vision, Santa detected an audience of spies as he exited the chimney, but coyly refrained from acknowledging them. Sporting a mini red tube top with tufts of white cashmere adorning his nipples, he flaunted his rungs of blubber, the clustered dimples of their cellulite playing catch with candlelight like sequins on a ball gown. He kept his legs straight as he bent over to set presents under the tree, rattling his hips just enough to make the tonsils hanging from his miniskirt dance. And as he departed, the spies began to quiver from horror and nausea.
9. Killer Klaus from Outer Space